tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-63355887830482968572024-03-15T07:13:51.518+13:00The GrapevineA Sometimes Satirical Social Commentary On Life In New Zealand...The Flying Tortoisehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09212913610390768373noreply@blogger.comBlogger12125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6335588783048296857.post-84671258380405656042015-09-03T06:00:00.000+12:002015-09-03T10:15:22.902+12:00New Zealand's Prime Minister John Key Foists Woops Hoists His New Flag...<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjZ5MgdXyYKjSjRDfW5YgNZaFGOOulqfDCPDwyGIfJcnFkqxmAAWpA59GyWFp7_zuUNAbjKCW8YkcfMmIvdrcPXAhSeh25mL0T5m-eLkVhhVsGZwwOR_cQlpfBKk-wvJpL6FOt_4Q785R0/s1600/new-zealand%2527s-prime-minister-john-key-hoists-his-new-flag-thegrapevine.jpg.nbcnews-fp-1200-800+%25281%2529.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="266" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjZ5MgdXyYKjSjRDfW5YgNZaFGOOulqfDCPDwyGIfJcnFkqxmAAWpA59GyWFp7_zuUNAbjKCW8YkcfMmIvdrcPXAhSeh25mL0T5m-eLkVhhVsGZwwOR_cQlpfBKk-wvJpL6FOt_4Q785R0/s400/new-zealand%2527s-prime-minister-john-key-hoists-his-new-flag-thegrapevine.jpg.nbcnews-fp-1200-800+%25281%2529.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
New Zealand Prime Minister John Key has just <strike>foist </strike> hoist his new flag on and over the heads<br />
of the unsuspecting public of this once great little country.<br />
I spoke to Shonkey over a cup of tea again yesterday just after the final four designs had been selected<br />
from an initial ten thousand.<br />
"Yea nah well the idea is haha that the public vote in a referendum for what design they like and then that choice is voted on against the existing flag".<br />
"A choice between a fern and a fern and a fern and a Koru isn't really much of a choice is it Prime Minister?"<br />
"Yea nah, well look Keith, at the end of the day the great unwashed woops, the general public wouldn't know diddly squat about what is up and what is half mast.<br />
Achully between you and me and this mustn't go any further, I've already chosen the winning design and Richie McCaw likes it too so it's a done deal."<br />
"And what about the $26m cost of the referendum Prime Minister?"<br />
"Yea nah well at the end of the day it's only money and democracy has to be seen to be done."<br />
<br />
You heard it here...The Flying Tortoisehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09212913610390768373noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6335588783048296857.post-68517401055860533952015-08-16T06:00:00.000+12:002015-09-24T17:43:52.458+12:00Fonterra. Milking The New Zealand Dairy Farmer...<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgkHhTieeemUq7odSOeOE4WKdlDKY66V4oHM431UwWNlvwEEYfOYr2kfPUAv6XqjCd900fAvAXVBik6piHo3DkpzatfADTBDqsqBFs5lOszaAHIl0-OleKba2HOKCdzsldPL1W-tJYrERA/s1600/fonterra-milking-the-new-zealand-dairy-farmer-thegrapevine.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="298" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgkHhTieeemUq7odSOeOE4WKdlDKY66V4oHM431UwWNlvwEEYfOYr2kfPUAv6XqjCd900fAvAXVBik6piHo3DkpzatfADTBDqsqBFs5lOszaAHIl0-OleKba2HOKCdzsldPL1W-tJYrERA/s400/fonterra-milking-the-new-zealand-dairy-farmer-thegrapevine.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
The chief executives sit<br />
Fonterra's fat cats in their designer chairs<br />
High on the pigs back<br />
Without any cares.<br />
<br />
And while they're busily<br />
Hoarding their gold<br />
The hardworking farmers<br />
Are outside in the cold.<br />
<br />
Their lives now in tatters<br />
Their loved ones in tears<br />
Their futures on hold<br />
Their farms deep in arrears.<br />
<br />
Financial deals are offered<br />
The farmer for now holds onto his dream<br />
And the bankers smile behind his back<br />
Like the cats who got the cream.<br />
<br />
Some farmers will end it<br />
In despair without hope<br />
They'll farewell their loving families<br />
At the end of a swinging rope.<br />
<br />
And all the while<br />
Overpaid executives with their millions will play<br />
As they raise their flutes of Dom Perignon<br />
To another successful day.<br />
<br />
<i>September 24 2015. Fonterra CEO Theo Spiering's annual salary has just had an 18% pay increase taking his pay to </i><i>$5 million. He announced also today that Fonterra will be getting rid of seven hundred and fifty staff. To save money and help turn Fonterra into a leaner machine...</i><br />
You heard it here...The Flying Tortoisehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09212913610390768373noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6335588783048296857.post-89064699250546424682015-08-06T06:00:00.000+12:002015-08-06T06:00:06.424+12:00An Apology...<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjF0ZY9WKhyphenhyphenWo9BIhlcI6uX8RxcN_pBSB0P2GOcBna4uqQYTw_EX47M973gp2UD7eKcrKXKePClYBhfufnfZeVOyKqxkmUEp22dCpYxJbz_B4WWDZ3hZs06Ip5QPv0oKQkJn4R-w6FJ0kw/s1600/10422327_661578027284005_2419889099106745960_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="391" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjF0ZY9WKhyphenhyphenWo9BIhlcI6uX8RxcN_pBSB0P2GOcBna4uqQYTw_EX47M973gp2UD7eKcrKXKePClYBhfufnfZeVOyKqxkmUEp22dCpYxJbz_B4WWDZ3hZs06Ip5QPv0oKQkJn4R-w6FJ0kw/s400/10422327_661578027284005_2419889099106745960_n.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
<br />The Flying Tortoisehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09212913610390768373noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6335588783048296857.post-89855284639943420782015-06-24T06:00:00.000+12:002015-09-03T08:22:10.325+12:00New Zealand Prime Minister Secretly Admits Opposition Parties Have Good Ideas...<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh2eBYz5w2VzJFK5WlZikdjSeNrJl5b9KDU2gAB-5O45hTEe5hvCwGF8t97UBvEOJ8Gyzb-XhvtccUwopETQoMAvQnAenUf3KhdAgLgWd6A-0nKSBenh5eoXSbNnLvqtfd5YDKy0-5LazA/s1600/new-zealand-prime-minister-admits-opposition-parties-have-good-ideas-thegrapevine.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="300" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh2eBYz5w2VzJFK5WlZikdjSeNrJl5b9KDU2gAB-5O45hTEe5hvCwGF8t97UBvEOJ8Gyzb-XhvtccUwopETQoMAvQnAenUf3KhdAgLgWd6A-0nKSBenh5eoXSbNnLvqtfd5YDKy0-5LazA/s400/new-zealand-prime-minister-admits-opposition-parties-have-good-ideas-thegrapevine.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
You heard it here.<br />
In an exclusive interview with The Grapevine over a cup of tea on a
remote beach in New Zealand's Far North,<br />
Mrs Key's little boy and
Prime Monster of New Zealand, John, has admitted that Parliament's
opposition parties<br />
do have good ideas. <br />
"Yea nah to be honest with you Keith, I'm well aware that only three people read
The Grapevine so I can be sure that nobody who matters will ever
know this but yes it's true, those opposition parties do come up
with good ideas damn them". <br />
Just then a young woman wandered past with her dog and John
hurriedly jumped up and attempted to pull her ponytail before she
quickly kicked him in the gonads and resumed her beach walk.<br />
John came back to his cup of tea, visibly shaken, not stirred."I couldn't help it".<br />
And after a few moments continued. "The problem is if I
acknowledge any of their ideas are good and agree to an
accommodation with them for the good of the country, I'd look silly.<br />
Bill, Stephen, Jerry and the boys would laugh at me. Judith would have a bloody field day.<br />
I'd lose face. I just can't do it. <br />
All I can do is ridicule them and their damn ideas and then after a
while, present the same ideas as mine.<br />
Look Keith, I've got to go, I've really appreciated this
confidential little chat. I hope we can do it again.<br />
It's so hard to
find someone to trust these days"...The Flying Tortoisehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09212913610390768373noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6335588783048296857.post-28454448940456253132015-06-13T06:00:00.000+12:002015-06-13T11:41:13.464+12:00Andrew Little. This Month's Leader Of The New Zealand Labour Party...<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi5f-7Fzh0w5-lHzYLyalK7Iau3MtQp528GQJjN72vg97LQawMIHtB4mhj1h_WnMNpOrn03NJ-bvsjBHnUYaFra1uH5P8xg1LDoHymn8QFCkrJABype4K-QDSD2V18rIYz_93ad7EOTPzw/s1600/andrew-little-this-months-leader-of-the-new-zealand-labour-party-says-thegrapevine.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="300" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi5f-7Fzh0w5-lHzYLyalK7Iau3MtQp528GQJjN72vg97LQawMIHtB4mhj1h_WnMNpOrn03NJ-bvsjBHnUYaFra1uH5P8xg1LDoHymn8QFCkrJABype4K-QDSD2V18rIYz_93ad7EOTPzw/s400/andrew-little-this-months-leader-of-the-new-zealand-labour-party-says-thegrapevine.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
This month's leader of the New Zealand Labour Party, Andrew Little told The Grapevine in an exclusive interview,<br />
that his party will pledge to the people of New Zealand that at the next general election in 2017,<br />
he will seek a mandate for Labour to become the Permanent Opposition Party in the New Zealand Parliament.<br />
"We've done it before and we've proven we're good at it" he said enthusiastically.<br />
"It makes my life easier too, it means that as a political party we don't have to come up with silly social policies which are always difficult to get agreement on in our caucus.<br />
We'll just be able to party".<br />
More like a wake perhaps but, you heard it here... The Flying Tortoisehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09212913610390768373noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6335588783048296857.post-57462763592046922902015-06-03T06:00:00.000+12:002015-06-04T19:14:09.690+12:00The Auckland City Council Pleads With More Motorists To Park Illegally...<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg1-mrkD4IOZ0odL3-llWAqfCwQPoEe0zvJeE7Bct9xkv-RhJdEb8eixANBYYO2ayAo6jqhBbGjBCSeh6E-O6Noap6U8jjAyzB-Umoq_ycjCmSm9QvZfz3QmAgpVs80ZRvusguvFWRMw9c/s1600/the-auckland-city-council-pleads-with-more-motorists-to-park-illegally-thegrapevine.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="300" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg1-mrkD4IOZ0odL3-llWAqfCwQPoEe0zvJeE7Bct9xkv-RhJdEb8eixANBYYO2ayAo6jqhBbGjBCSeh6E-O6Noap6U8jjAyzB-Umoq_ycjCmSm9QvZfz3QmAgpVs80ZRvusguvFWRMw9c/s400/the-auckland-city-council-pleads-with-more-motorists-to-park-illegally-thegrapevine.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
The Super City of Auckland is in a sorry financial state and Jaffa
Mayor Brown has gone public saying<br />
the council will have to consider raising the amount of fines to cover expenses. <br />
Even though the council gave out more than ten million dollars worth
of fines last year,<br />
the problem is that with parking infringement
fines at a measly $12 the rate of revenue is just not enough to
cover costs. <br />
There are some councilors who haven't had an all expenses paid
overseas holiday for months.<br />
And making matters worse, some of the city's parking wardens are
insisting on being polite, kind and considerate<br />
and giving errant
motorists a ten minute time window to top up their meters.<br />
You heard it here... The Flying Tortoisehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09212913610390768373noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6335588783048296857.post-89432603302295665922015-05-31T06:00:00.000+12:002015-05-31T06:00:05.628+12:00Congratulations To James Shaw. The New Co-Leader Of The New Zealand Green Party...<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiKG9X6UGuolLA-OFSjxcWYlbb2ROAXnnHYECZJsYfUwm-ZdX3dfJ3DikSpf8RgKmnqxgtLhLNxA_iaWAV0EIah8WST4Rn4PLjvmoVFASveoUQN3uzJVo4O_2athfOq4QVxfHZQWuazW_s/s1600/james-shaw-newly-elected-co-leader-of-the-new-zealand-green-party-thegrapevine.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiKG9X6UGuolLA-OFSjxcWYlbb2ROAXnnHYECZJsYfUwm-ZdX3dfJ3DikSpf8RgKmnqxgtLhLNxA_iaWAV0EIah8WST4Rn4PLjvmoVFASveoUQN3uzJVo4O_2athfOq4QVxfHZQWuazW_s/s400/james-shaw-newly-elected-co-leader-of-the-new-zealand-green-party-thegrapevine.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
You heard it here.<br />
To be Shaw to be Shaw to be Shaw...<br />
<br />The Flying Tortoisehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09212913610390768373noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6335588783048296857.post-22045728536196313672015-05-26T06:00:00.000+12:002015-05-30T17:06:27.627+12:00Women Have Returned To The Streets Of This Tiny New Zealand Village...<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjQQOQca4KkvTEdyaKIfd6FeG6EtNt88weHKi1NRSp7BAie9KsFSq8pwOTEG7tjY_uBBeP9IGOouMZBsyfZ5wipBmqNzMQ8l4xGRNIevYTtyb5hSmcX57pXC2p1aYm94iLZPG7fBlPr0wA/s1600/women-no-longer-frightened-of-the-serial-hairpuller-and-prime-minister-johnny-key-have-cut-their-self-imposed-exile-short-and-returned-to-their-village-of-warkworth-thegrapevine.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="235" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjQQOQca4KkvTEdyaKIfd6FeG6EtNt88weHKi1NRSp7BAie9KsFSq8pwOTEG7tjY_uBBeP9IGOouMZBsyfZ5wipBmqNzMQ8l4xGRNIevYTtyb5hSmcX57pXC2p1aYm94iLZPG7fBlPr0wA/s400/women-no-longer-frightened-of-the-serial-hairpuller-and-prime-minister-johnny-key-have-cut-their-self-imposed-exile-short-and-returned-to-their-village-of-warkworth-thegrapevine.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
Up until a few days ago, there had been very few women on the street or in the supermarkets<br />
or the cafes in the tiny North Island village of Warkworth, a beautiful little place nestled on the banks<br />
of the Mahurangi River and unfortunately, not far enough north from the despised Jaffaland known as Dorkland.<br />
Jacqui who doesn't want to be named and who owns one of the local hair salons<br />
said they'd been busy creating shortened hair styles for those<br />
with long hair as the women had awaited the arrival of the nine year<br />
old serial pony tail puller and Prime Minister, Johnny Key.<br />
He recently had to apologise to a young waitress in a local Parnell cafe<br />
he and his wife frequently visit for repeatedly pulling her hair on a<br />
number of visits there.<br />
His behaviour had initiated legal proceedings against him and<br />
the sorry and embarrassing saga had been picked up by media world-wide.<br />
He and his baby sitters were due to visit the village sometime soon.<br />
Very soon and too soon.<br />
He was due to open Warkworth's Annual Pin The Tail On The Donkey Games<br />
but with all the horsing around he likes to do, it was feared he may well linger longer.<br />
Some, fearing they would be targeted by the nimble fingered Ponytailphile,<br />
left in specially commissioned and blacked out buses for secret locations<br />
where they thought they'd be safe from the fingers of the little thrillseeker.<br />
They'd left their husbands and families with<br />
enough prepared food in the home freezers to last a few days should the<br />
young juvenile stay longer than his scheduled visit.<br />
Fortunately the little Jonkey has had an intensive course of therapy<br />
and his inclination to pull women's hair has now been cut short.<br />
You heard it here...<span style="color: #888888;"><br />
<br />
-- </span>The Flying Tortoisehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09212913610390768373noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6335588783048296857.post-54253069734252250092015-05-06T06:00:00.000+12:002015-05-06T06:00:00.879+12:00The New Zealand Government Closes All The Country's Roads...<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjDQuTwI29KL5YkoULCrboizVFrqJDFCfiQ3ibKTXDUzgy5Fy9hIn7ZuY9y4-12YSIdwPrD-J_xN6z_NG1YkP__I_B8uC6IrAzk0ZOGdfEELY3x2V190P1BTdHepXISI3uDJY7_An9GIEE/s1600/the-new-zealand-government-closes-all-the-country's-roads-thegrapevine.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjDQuTwI29KL5YkoULCrboizVFrqJDFCfiQ3ibKTXDUzgy5Fy9hIn7ZuY9y4-12YSIdwPrD-J_xN6z_NG1YkP__I_B8uC6IrAzk0ZOGdfEELY3x2V190P1BTdHepXISI3uDJY7_An9GIEE/s400/the-new-zealand-government-closes-all-the-country's-roads-thegrapevine.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
The New Zealand Government has just approved a scheme by sixty
votes to sixty one, to close all two lane roads throughout the
country and turn them into one directional two lane roads in an
effort to reduce the road toll caused by people, especially
tourists, from driving on the wrong side of the road.<br />
From
sometime soon there will be no 'wrong side' so for the drunk, the
dyslexic and the foreign driver, they will no longer be in the
wong lane.<br />
On Mondays Wednesdays and Fridays, all the country's roads will be
used to go one way and on Tuesdays Thursdays and Saturdays they
will be used to drive the other way thus enabling those who went
shopping on Wednesday to get home the next day.<br />
Sunday will be now known as Mayhemday when all the roads are
multicultural and multidirectional and the day all New Zealand
Emergency Services will be taking a break from their onorous
duties. <br />
All roads on Mayhemday will be tolled and drivers will have the
options of online payments.<br />
There will be no facilities open for cash transactions.<br />
All hospitals will be closed but Psychiatric Services will be on
standby in most but not all of the major cities. <br />
People needing any of these services should refer to the Yellow
Pages.<br />
You heard it here... <br />
<br />
<pre class="moz-signature" cols="72"> </pre>
The Flying Tortoisehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09212913610390768373noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6335588783048296857.post-28618781555037421312015-05-04T06:00:00.000+12:002015-05-04T06:00:01.011+12:00The Definition Of Satire By Wikipedia...<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiTRQ41hw2NlYMR3Gh6TyZ6clfsQ6sT34ja-7FXGWkmG47dW0HkV35GWWGyfKnbVGmIC5HHQrSyhBw5b1mH47QfQUiEHKrCzEQnGEna3dpScRcfK0hbEvSGCCB4nJBnBT9rQpWyCYdFiJ4/s1600/the-definition-of-satire-by-wikipedia-thegrapevine.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiTRQ41hw2NlYMR3Gh6TyZ6clfsQ6sT34ja-7FXGWkmG47dW0HkV35GWWGyfKnbVGmIC5HHQrSyhBw5b1mH47QfQUiEHKrCzEQnGEna3dpScRcfK0hbEvSGCCB4nJBnBT9rQpWyCYdFiJ4/s1600/the-definition-of-satire-by-wikipedia-thegrapevine.jpg" height="298" width="400" /></a></div>
<br />
<b>Satire</b> is a genre of literature, and sometimes graphic and performing arts,
in which vices, follies, abuses, and shortcomings are held up to
ridicule, ideally with the intent of shaming individuals, corporations,
government or society itself, into improvement.<sup class="reference" id="cite_ref-FOOTNOTEElliott2004_1-0"><a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Satire#cite_note-FOOTNOTEElliott2004-1"></a></sup> Although satire is usually meant to be humorous, its greater purpose is often constructive social criticism using wit<a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wit" title="Wit"></a> to draw attention to both particular and wider issues in society.<br />
A feature of satire is strong irony or sarcasm in satire, irony is militant but parody, burlesque, exaggeration juxtaposition, comparison, analogy, and double entendre
are all frequently used in satirical speech and writing. This
"militant" irony or sarcasm often professes to approve of (or at least
accept as natural) the very things the satirist wishes to attack.<br />
Satire is nowadays found in many artistic forms of expression,
including literature, plays, commentary, television shows, blogs, newspapers, magazines and song lyrics.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEieLMHAsUrgzAbhrwSELmjzu6aKBluyTJ-v1M20hYGUgtOq7ZLk8yBH1OZYC5cYPv7oFCk8fOsQekAQ89-wu2XBrL_SlAV33fkvoyQqvqQpdaHeibCUNJ-iLigiAItKTqlfoCn9HaigC4A/s1600/the-definition-of-satire-by-wikipedia-thegrapevine-001.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEieLMHAsUrgzAbhrwSELmjzu6aKBluyTJ-v1M20hYGUgtOq7ZLk8yBH1OZYC5cYPv7oFCk8fOsQekAQ89-wu2XBrL_SlAV33fkvoyQqvqQpdaHeibCUNJ-iLigiAItKTqlfoCn9HaigC4A/s1600/the-definition-of-satire-by-wikipedia-thegrapevine-001.jpg" height="300" width="400" /></a></div>
<br />The Flying Tortoisehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09212913610390768373noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6335588783048296857.post-3989896938999860322015-05-01T06:00:00.000+12:002015-05-29T10:53:05.644+12:00Keith Levy Says His Mother Was A Wonderful Woman...<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgRz0hNBt5sT4-sHVKPi073Z1SOu7l7aqajAwRRfI8EzqRKUFcJmctxHbPFxm8ZqTkQwEPSv17ZkVcJsYBpUKVnTIlQD4OQ8N5484iMaBoA7raPUWwYLddl5DG_kl2EbScyIN1Cc2OuqHc/s1600/if-i'd-known-keith-was-going-to-turn-out-as-he-has-i-would-have-remained-a-virgin-thegrapevine-jpg.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="380" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgRz0hNBt5sT4-sHVKPi073Z1SOu7l7aqajAwRRfI8EzqRKUFcJmctxHbPFxm8ZqTkQwEPSv17ZkVcJsYBpUKVnTIlQD4OQ8N5484iMaBoA7raPUWwYLddl5DG_kl2EbScyIN1Cc2OuqHc/s1600/if-i'd-known-keith-was-going-to-turn-out-as-he-has-i-would-have-remained-a-virgin-thegrapevine-jpg.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
Keith says his mother was a wonderful woman. But he remembers her telling his father that if she'd known their son was going to turn out the way he did, she would have remained a virgin.<br />
You heard it here... The Flying Tortoisehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09212913610390768373noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6335588783048296857.post-18598537687318774962015-04-28T06:00:00.000+12:002015-05-29T11:10:30.895+12:00Mark Howard Bans Himself From His Own Forum...<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiHXCY0YXdHkXvcjHiAd4vougU4eS1Fqm5CGbPENv_xubxJ1uVI-yv2rYK2-RiiTl-MLBok2h1Z4rL5My5r2roV-ECecWm4YB1Ln1zotuImWB2w7ipJD-qgpYxWWWXrmmbj-bsRKrQ-ISg/s1600/ScreenShot020.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="294" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiHXCY0YXdHkXvcjHiAd4vougU4eS1Fqm5CGbPENv_xubxJ1uVI-yv2rYK2-RiiTl-MLBok2h1Z4rL5My5r2roV-ECecWm4YB1Ln1zotuImWB2w7ipJD-qgpYxWWWXrmmbj-bsRKrQ-ISg/s1600/ScreenShot020.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
Mark Howard, Head Honcho and Chief Control Freak of The NZ Motorhome And Caravan Forum, seen here<br />
in his current profile photograph taken in 1924,
has today, after banning all other members, banned himself from his own forum for making rude, patronising and
gratuitously flattering remarks to some and veiled threats and personal, insulting and condescending
comments to others. He's accused himself of double standards. Following an 'Announcement' yesterday, he and his team are currently secreted away, wearing their hair shirts, flagellating each other and using international 'how-to' consultants to assist in rewriting the forum rulebook while assuring themselves that all is well. <br />
You heard it here... The Flying Tortoisehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09212913610390768373noreply@blogger.com