New Zealand's Prime Minister John Key Foists Woops Hoists His New Flag...

New Zealand Prime Minister John Key has just foist  hoist his new flag on and over the heads
of the unsuspecting public of this once great little country.
I spoke to Shonkey over a cup of tea again yesterday just after the final four designs had been selected
from an initial ten thousand.
"Yea nah well the idea is haha that the public vote in a referendum for what design they like and then that choice is voted on against the existing flag".
"A choice between a fern and a fern and a fern and a Koru isn't really much of a choice is it Prime Minister?"
"Yea nah, well look Keith, at the end of the day the great unwashed woops, the general public wouldn't know diddly squat about what is up and what is half mast.
Achully between you and me and this mustn't go any further, I've already chosen the winning design and Richie McCaw likes it too so it's a done deal."
"And what about the $26m cost of the referendum Prime Minister?"
"Yea nah well at the end of the day it's only money and democracy has to be seen to be done."

You heard it here...

Fonterra. Milking The New Zealand Dairy Farmer...

The chief executives sit
Fonterra's fat cats in their designer chairs
High on the pigs back
Without any cares.

And while they're busily
Hoarding their gold
The hardworking farmers
Are outside in the cold.

Their lives now in tatters
Their loved ones in tears
Their futures on hold
Their farms deep in arrears.

Financial deals are offered
The farmer for now holds onto his dream
And the bankers smile behind his back
Like the cats who got the cream.

Some farmers will end it
In despair without hope
They'll farewell their loving families
At the end of a swinging rope.

And all the while
Overpaid executives with their millions will play
As they raise their flutes of Dom Perignon
To another successful day.

September 24 2015. Fonterra CEO Theo Spiering's annual salary has just had an 18% pay increase taking his pay to $5 million. He announced also today that Fonterra will be getting rid of seven hundred and fifty staff. To save money and help turn Fonterra into a leaner machine...
You heard it here...

An Apology...

New Zealand Prime Minister Secretly Admits Opposition Parties Have Good Ideas...

You heard it here.
In an exclusive interview with The Grapevine over a cup of tea on a remote beach in New Zealand's Far North,
Mrs Key's little boy and Prime Monster of New Zealand, John, has admitted that Parliament's opposition parties
do have good ideas.
"Yea nah to be honest with you Keith, I'm well aware that only three people read The Grapevine so I can be sure that nobody who matters will ever know this but yes it's true, those opposition parties do come up with good ideas damn them".
Just then a young woman wandered past with her dog and John hurriedly jumped up and attempted to pull her ponytail before she quickly kicked him in the gonads and resumed her beach walk.
John came back to his cup of tea, visibly shaken, not stirred."I couldn't help it".
And after a few moments continued. "The problem is if I acknowledge any of their ideas are good and agree to an accommodation with them for the good of the country, I'd look silly.
Bill, Stephen, Jerry and the boys would laugh at me. Judith would have a bloody field day.
I'd lose face. I just can't do it.
All I can do is ridicule them and their damn ideas and then after a while, present the same ideas as mine.
Look Keith, I've got to go, I've really appreciated this confidential little chat. I hope we can do it again.
It's so hard to find someone to trust these days"...

Andrew Little. This Month's Leader Of The New Zealand Labour Party...

This month's leader of the New Zealand Labour Party, Andrew Little told The Grapevine in an exclusive interview,
that his party will pledge to the people of New Zealand that at the next general election in 2017,
he will seek a mandate for Labour to become the Permanent Opposition Party in the New Zealand Parliament.
"We've done it before and we've proven we're good at it" he said enthusiastically.
"It makes my life easier too, it means that as a political party we don't have to come up with silly social policies which are always difficult to get agreement on in our caucus.
We'll just be able to party".
More like a wake perhaps but, you heard it here...

The Auckland City Council Pleads With More Motorists To Park Illegally...

The Super City of Auckland is in a sorry financial state and Jaffa Mayor Brown has gone public saying
the council will have to consider raising the amount of fines to cover expenses.
Even though the council gave out more than ten million dollars worth of fines last year,
the problem is that with parking infringement fines at a measly $12 the rate of revenue is just not enough to cover costs.
There are some councilors who haven't had an all expenses paid overseas holiday for months.
And making matters worse, some of the city's parking wardens are insisting on being polite, kind and considerate
and giving errant motorists a ten minute time window to top up their meters.
You heard it here...

Congratulations To James Shaw. The New Co-Leader Of The New Zealand Green Party...

You heard it here.
To be Shaw to be Shaw to be Shaw...