In an exclusive interview with The Grapevine over a cup of tea on a remote beach in New Zealand's Far North,
Mrs Key's little boy and Prime Monster of New Zealand, John, has admitted that Parliament's opposition parties
do have good ideas.
"Yea nah to be honest with you Keith, I'm well aware that only three people read The Grapevine so I can be sure that nobody who matters will ever know this but yes it's true, those opposition parties do come up with good ideas damn them".
Just then a young woman wandered past with her dog and John hurriedly jumped up and attempted to pull her ponytail before she quickly kicked him in the gonads and resumed her beach walk.
John came back to his cup of tea, visibly shaken, not stirred."I couldn't help it".
And after a few moments continued. "The problem is if I acknowledge any of their ideas are good and agree to an accommodation with them for the good of the country, I'd look silly.
Bill, Stephen, Jerry and the boys would laugh at me. Judith would have a bloody field day.
I'd lose face. I just can't do it.
All I can do is ridicule them and their damn ideas and then after a while, present the same ideas as mine.
Look Keith, I've got to go, I've really appreciated this confidential little chat. I hope we can do it again.
It's so hard to find someone to trust these days"...
