The New Zealand Government Closes All The Country's Roads...

The New Zealand Government has just approved a scheme by sixty votes to sixty one, to close all two lane roads throughout the country and turn them into one directional two lane roads in an effort to reduce the road toll caused by people, especially tourists, from driving on the wrong side of the road.
From sometime soon there will be no 'wrong side' so for the drunk, the dyslexic and the foreign driver, they will no longer be in the wong lane.
On Mondays Wednesdays and Fridays, all the country's roads will be used to go one way and on Tuesdays Thursdays and Saturdays they will be used to drive the other way thus enabling those who went shopping on Wednesday to get home the next day.
Sunday will be now known as Mayhemday when all the roads are multicultural and multidirectional and the day all New Zealand Emergency Services will be taking a break from their onorous duties.
All roads on Mayhemday will be tolled and drivers will have the options of online payments.
There will be no facilities open for cash transactions.
All hospitals will be closed but Psychiatric Services will be on standby in most but not all of the major cities.
People needing any of these services should refer to the Yellow Pages.
You heard it here...