Tuesday, May 26, 2015

Women Have Returned To The Streets Of This Tiny New Zealand Village...

Up until a few days ago, there had been very few women on the street or in the supermarkets
or the cafes in the tiny North Island village of Warkworth, a beautiful little place nestled on the banks
of the Mahurangi River and unfortunately, not far enough north from the despised Jaffaland known as Dorkland.
Jacqui who doesn't want to be named and who owns one of the local hair salons
said they'd been busy creating shortened hair styles for those
with long hair as the women had awaited the arrival  of the nine year
old serial pony tail puller and Prime Minister, Johnny Key.
He recently had to apologise to a young waitress in a local Parnell cafe
he and his wife frequently visit for repeatedly pulling her hair on a
number of visits there.
His behaviour had initiated legal proceedings against him and
the sorry and embarrassing saga had been picked up by media world-wide.
He and his baby sitters were due to visit the village sometime soon.
Very soon and too soon.
He was due to open Warkworth's Annual Pin The Tail On The Donkey Games
but with all the horsing around he likes to do, it was feared he may well linger longer.
Some, fearing they would be targeted by the nimble fingered Ponytailphile,
left in specially commissioned and blacked out buses for secret locations
where they thought they'd be safe from the fingers of the little thrillseeker.
They'd left their husbands and families with
enough prepared food in the home freezers to last a few days should the
young juvenile stay longer than his scheduled visit.
Fortunately the little Jonkey has had an intensive course of therapy
and his inclination to pull women's hair has now been cut short.
You heard it here...